handle with care

watching music vidoes on tv has always helped me pass the time. i just realized how much i enjoy chill hanging out music. jack johnson status. but once i hear such tunes i don't want to just chill but i want to chill with others. at least with myself. but somewhere where i will have tons of fun. if i don't want to hang out with myself that is a sad day. i think i need to make more friends. since the ones that i like to just chill with and don't feel like i have to think of everything to do, are not here. they will be soon.

that brings me to another topic. why do everyone need to have something to do with me to have a good time. and if there is nothing out there to do we just end up watching tv. Am i that boring? but i guess not too many people want to go to the park to fly a kite when there is no wind at all. cuz that is what i want to go do. maybe just walk around and chat with the sky above us and the grass or dirt or whatever i am walking on at the time.

let me tell you a secret. and since only 3 people rread my blog... maybe 4, and i trust all of you it's ok. i have a place that i go to when i just want to escape, from my self , from others, from the world. and it brings me peace. i go there just to be alive and i have not found another place like unto it ( nice scripture talk) in the whole world that i have live in so far. that place is the park. craig park. i love it more than i love any other place, maybe the passangers seat on landon's roll can compete, but it still wins. it brings back every happy memory that i have had. i remember going with my mother and my sister there to play in the sprinklers, i remember going there when my sister left for college and i felt like part of my heart had been ripped out, i have written the most beautiful things there. i remember going there for cross country meets. for the first mutual of the school year, for bbq's galore with my family. i have gone there with almost every meaningful crush i have had, and i have been there with my current love, i have gone there for comfort when my heart was breaking, when my life felt like it was falling apart, when everything was perfect....
i guess that there is alot of love that has happened there.

it makes me happy.